When times get tough, people are forced to spend less. They cut back on clothes, and haircuts, and most of all, food. Sure, it’s nice to eat a juicy steak, but you just can’t afford one at the moment. Spam is almost as good, right?
No. No it is not.
Spam is one of the most revolting foods on the planet. To simulate the taste, you simply need to purchase a ham, leave it out in the sun for three days, drop it in some puddle water, and then stomp on it with your foot.
The only redeeming factor about this food, and that term is used lightly, is that it can last pretty much forever. If a nuclear war occurs, you can rest assured that any spam you manage to scavenge will still be good several decades later. Mostly because even the radioactive cockroaches won’t touch it.
It should also noted that some people claim (particularly from the state of Hawaii) that spam is actually quite tasty. They say that if you fry it just right, and add a few spices, it can provide a delectable dish that can’t be beat. Of course, some people claim that Vanilla Ice was a misunderstood artist ahead of his time, so you should probably take such claims with a grain of salt.