Movie distributors tend to release films through a complex time table that has been tested and designed by marketing experts to ensure maximum profitability. February is for the romantic comedies, July is for the summer blockbusters, October is for the horror movies, and December is for the Oscar contenders. The latter is because most Academy voters have notoriously short memories, and the producers want their Elizabethan tear jerker starring Owen Wilson to stay at the front of people’s minds for as absolutely long as possible.
January, on the other hand, is where bad movies go to die. Talking animal pictures, buddy cop movies, films that have ‘BLOOD’ in their title… this is their chance to shine. It’s not entirely certain why this is, it could be the film companies dumping their unwanted refuse in an attempt to start the new year off fresh, or simply a remarkable coincidence of bad timing, just know that if there’s snow on the ground and people suffering from hang-overs each way you look, then a constant stream of cinematic dreck is about to be released at your local Metroplex.
Some particularly horrible movies that have been released in January:
Kung Pow! Enter the Fist
Beverly Hills Ninja
You Got Served