Face it. You’re a horrible person. You never write your mother. You swiped that penny from the ‘take a penny/leave a penny’ jar. You cut that guy off in traffic the other day. You gossip about your co-workers behind their back. You take hidden pleasure from the misfortune of others. You never returned that overdue library book. You always stay out late without calling. You didn’t go to your son or daughter’s music recital. You don’t pay the phone bill on time. And you know full well what you did at last year’s Christmas party.
You rock out secretly each night to Milli Vanilli. You always leave the toilet seat up. You thought that Bio-Dome was a great movie. You call in sick to work under false pretenses. You scratch yourself constantly in public. You tracked mud into the kitchen and pretended the dog did it. You cheated on that algebra test. You roll your eyes at people when they talk about their day. You ate the last potato chip. You can name all nine members of the Brady Bunch, but not one Supreme Court justice.
Frankly, sir or madam, you disgust us.