Have you been experiencing severe pressure on your brain recently? It would come in form of headaches, migraines, or a consistent sense of frustration. If any of this sounds familiar, then you might want to give trepanation a try!
The process is similar to a lobotomy, except instead of removing a small piece of the prefrontal lobe, you take out a chunk of your skull. Any sharp tool (icepicks and handheld drills work well) can be used to achieve this, and when you’re done it’s important not to patch the hole up with bandages or a metal plate. The idea is to let your brain “air itself out”, thereby removing all the stress and bad emotions and ability for neurons to fire properly. They’ve been performing this procedure since Neolithic times, so you know it’s got to be good.
Trepanation has also been used to increase psychic capacity. Most people’s ability to throw cars around with the power of their mind is sorely limited by the mystically diminishing capacity of the skull. Adding a peephole to the brain allows for dormant psychic potential to seep out and influence the world. Doctors may try to tell you that you’re merely experiencing hallucinations caused by self-inflicted mental trauma, but don’t believe a word of it. Drilling that hole in your head has surely given you powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men.