Battlefield: Earth is quite possibly the worst movie ever made. There are films with shoddier production values, and crappier writing, and worse acting, but this movie somehow manages to put them all together in a perfect horrible package.
The film uses extreme close-ups and a near-perpetual forty degree camera tilt that causes anyone who watches it to continually lean their head off to the side until they develop a permanent neck crick. Many movie critics never recovered from the experience and still wear support braces to this day.
The plot goes something like this: It’s 3000 AD. Earth is ruled by the Psychlos, a race of giant John Travolta’s who sport ratty dreadlocks. One of them (played by John Travolta) decides to bribe his way off the planet by using human slaves to mine for gold. This is extremely valuable to the aliens for some reason.
He enlists the aid of Johnny Goodboy, a savage primitive he manages to capture. He gives him a couple of weeks to mine the gold, but Johnny decides he’d rather overthrow the alien empire instead!
The protagonist thus decides to borrow a jet and fly to Fort Knox to steal its gold reserves, despite the fact that he is a post-apocalyptic primitive who wouldn’t know what a jet is, much less how to pilot it. There’s also the question as to how the plane can still be in working condition after a thousand years, but um… shhh.
The movie continues on until the explosive finale, in which Johnny finds an atomic bomb and teleports it to the home world of the aliens, which somehow manages to wipe out the entire planet. It involves a chain reaction and… just don’t think to hard about it, okay? It looked great on paper.
The movie, shockingly, was a flop. Even the hordes of scientologists who went to see it couldn’t save the film from bombing at the box office, and it made numerous ‘Worst Movie of The Year’ lists. They obviously couldn’t appreciate the sheer majesty of John Travolta’s enormous head.