Not all women are created equal. Some are smarter, some are more athletic, and some are better… endowed than others. Men always seem to be focused on them for some odd reason, and ignore the girls who can actually hold an intelligent conversation. With the 1961 invention of silicone breast implants, this horrible tragedy was finally able to be rectified. Young women who had previously been forced to rely on such pointless things as personality and brainpower could now put on a tight angora sweater and have men ogling at them whenever they walked past.
It wasn’t until the 1990’s that scientists noticed a slight problem: women who possessed silicone breast implants claimed to suffer from a greater number of serious medical problems (such as cancer and sarcoidosis.) They also tended to fall forward a lot from being so top heavy. And while most studies seemed to indicate that there was no link between gigantic honkers and systemic diseases, the health concerns remained, and they were gradually phased out. They have since been replaced with saline implants, which are made out of water and thus only dangerous to The Wicked Witch of the West and those creepy aliens from “Signs”.