BAD SHOES – Goldfish Shoes

One of the more common styles of footwear is the platform heel. They can be found on shoes, boots, and sandals, and allow for short people to gain some height on their tall oppressors. They are not what “fashionable” people would consider to be bad shoes. Most of them tend to be fairly standard, though, so shoe manufacturers in the 1970’s decided to make a platform heel that would truly stand out from the others. It was three inches tall, molded out of Lucite, and had a goldfish swimming around in it.

This isn’t a joke – these shoes actually existed. People (or at least, a small subset of people) actually thought that walking around with a live goldfish in their heel was cool. And, to be honest, it does sort of work, provided you’ve also got an enormous purple coat, a floppy hat, and a string of scantily-clad hookers behind you. If that’s the case, though, then you probably shouldn’t be reading this, because Starsky and Hutch are about to bust through your front door and take you in for questioning.