You’ve tried wearing a toupee. You’ve combed the few measly hairs that you possess to the side. Nothing ever seems to cover up that shiny bald spot that stands out and the people at work like to rub for good luck. What’s a smarmy bachelor to do?
Try spray-on hair!
That’s right, you can now purchase hair that comes in a convenient aerosol can. You simply shake it a few times, spray as needed (don’t forget the back!), and walk out the front door with the horrible realization that you’ve just covered your head in thick fuzzy goo.
To be fair, it does sort of work. Unless they look carefully, most people won’t be able to tell that you’ve scrubbed your scalp with the equivalent of wooly shoe polish. There comes a point, though, when you need to decide just how much your pride is worth. Bald spots can be covered up, but can you hide your pathetic shame?
The answer of course is yes. Though it usually takes quite a bit of drinking.