Karaoke is one of the great plagues of the earth. It has destroyed the lives of men. It has brought whole kingdoms to ruin. And it has spread more madness and pain than all four John Denver Christmas specials.
The basic notion is simple – you take a microphone, play some music from a box, and sing Top 40 hits to a crowd of drunken people. Now, this wouldn’t be too bad if everyone in the world could sing on-key. As you may have discovered, however, this is most certainly not the case. The vast majority of people can’t hold a tune to save their lives, and sound like a deranged howler monkey being shocked repeatedly by some sort of cruel torture implement.
That doesn’t stop karaoke from being a favored form of entertainment for the masses. Every night of the week, hordes of men and women descend upon karaoke bars so they can drink light beer and have a chance to sing ‘Hooked on a Feeling.’ They just love performing in front of a crowd and showing off their amazing musical talent. The dozens of people outside covering their ears and fleeing down the street in terror are obviously just suffering from an ill-timed ear infection.