Manos: The Hands of Fate is a surprisingly famous film. Not because it made a lot of money, or won any prestigious awards at international film festivals. It’s because the good people at Mystery Science Theater 3000, who spent eleven seasons watching some of the worst movies in existence, had incredible difficulty in finding anything funny to say about the film. They just sat in horrified silence as the story unfolded before their eyes. It’s that bad.
The movie’s plot is simple: a family is driving along searching for somewhere to stop for the night. They come upon a creepy house on a hill, where they are greeted by Torgo, a small man who suffers from a knee deformity. There’s something undeniably strange about this man – he talks constantly about “The Master”, and every time he walks across the screen, it takes approximately five minutes while “Do-do-do-do-DO-DO-DO-DO” plays loudly in the background.
They investigate the house, and discover a mysterious tomb surrounded by women in slinky nightgowns. Torgo shows up, and captures the father in the most ludicrous chase sequence known to man. The Master then awakens, and decides to sacrifice the family to his evil god ‘Manos’. The women disagree, and engage in a five minute long slap fight. The family is tied to a stake, and… well, we wouldn’t want to spoil the whole film for you. You’ll just have to watch the rest yourself.
On a side note, Manos is the Spanish word for hands. This means that the true title of the movie is ‘Hands: the Hands of Fate’. Yes, that sounds about right.