Many great things have come from Scotland. There’s Sean Connery… David Tennant… Groundskeeper Willy… But something horrible has also spawned from that small island nation off the coast of England. A food so terrible, so vile, that anyone who tastes it (including the Scots themselves) has no choice but to turn a sickly shade of green and immediately run for the nearest bathroom, where they’ll be spending the next three to five days in complete physical agony. This food is known as haggis.
Here’s how to make it: take a sheep’s stomach, rinse thoroughly, and soak overnight in salt water. Once that’s done, boil the sheep’s heart, lungs, and tongue for two hours. Stuff this delightful mixture into the stomach, and sew it shut with a shoelace. Cook for another three hours, and serve to your guests. If you can somehow stomach this nauseating meal, then congratulations! You have a cast iron stomach, and obviously suffer from delusional psychosis.